The days of online school are going to be tough – it seems everyone has forgotten the saga continues for the 10+ year olds – teachers’ expectations are rising, but children’s resistance to endless lessons from Zoom, the way it is obviously diminished. Mother, but it’s no less, with hours of repetition like, “Turn the camera on!”, “Teacher, I didn’t hear,” “The internet is failing” and jobs that nobody already knows if they’re part of the class or if they are TPC, and that accumulate. But now there’s a new and worse modality that wears out even more: the jobs that come outside of hours in the classroom that force them to go there all the time and that cause them to behave in workaholic that never rests, nor can you step away from email and internalize the idea that you must always be available. Spoiler alert: many of them end up in burnout.
But in the midst of it all, I noticed my hypocrisy as I tried at all costs to “organize” the missing works, make lists, and publish them to help them. What can I do? In view of the resistance, I begin the sermon: “But why ??? There are only three exercises. So simple things !! Things i know you can do! “And I keep going – despite the monosyllabic tears and replies of” I don’t know “,” I can’t “,” I don’t want to! ” – “It’s so much better when it’s ready and then you don’t have to be desperate … and you can go and play … everything is delivered and we can rest!”
Did you notice, dear mother, how I ended the plural sentence – “can we rest”? Well the main reason for my intervention is to make sure I can get mental rest without being haunted by the idea that the teachers will be angry if they don’t do the missing work – me or them? I don’t even know what’s bothering me anymore.
Wait, I still haven’t confessed to everything. Suddenly I receive a message and soon the first lines make me nervous – “Ana, don’t forget to send me …”. I have spoken to my husband for the millionth time about this task I haven’t done yet, and he angrily replies, “But why don’t you do this? It’s that simple … it’s just one thing and you know how to do it! And you’d be so relieved and rested to follow! “. And then it hits me. I don’t do it, not because I don’t want to, but because I’m afraid of failure, I’m tired and anxious, which makes me less able to solve simple things and much less able to avoid any less pleasant task. All of this makes me a million times more hesitant.
At that time I remembered asking him: The mother, who never seems to be affected by procrastination, tells me what is the secret to overcoming the blockages? And to avoid them? Shouldn’t we have to learn better to get blocked our children without the need to save them? Even when you know the consequences will be difficult?
It is true that I hesitate little … in the things I like. If you add to the to-do list, cook, do office paperwork, fix the car, or pose a technological challenge, I will no longer answer for myself. I suppose the real secret is to keep what we enjoy and delegate what we hate to others – unfortunately, this nirvana for you and my grandchildren can only be achieved with old age, a stable job, and a better salary become. or less certain at the end of the month.
That means your sermon would work for me. I am very sensitive to “do it now so you can rest”. I suspect it’s the English genes. I say this because I know a lot of Portuguese who hesitate until the last hour but then get super creative with the adrenaline that the deadline creates in sight. He killed me.
When I block, it also helps me a lot when someone from the outside takes the first steps with me, but unfortunately this person cannot be someone who is very close to me – as a child, my mother’s help blocked me even more, I have never really understood why, but I don’t think anyone likes to fail in the eyes of the people we want to admire. It will all be here.
I admit that I’ve never suffered from perfectionism, and if I had suffered, I would never have been able to work in a newspaper where our work has to be delivered badly or well. When I blocked it, I remembered that, desirably after reading, these pages would line the reader’s parakeet cage, and that simple fact relieved the pressure.
Finally the consequences. The consequences are well accepted if we consider them fair and proportionate. At this moment, I doubt that every student, and especially student parents as well as teachers, will be able to live this plague of online education with the minimal serenity required not to go crazy. A few days ago I read a very impressive report in the PUBLIC about the increase in cases of violence against children, which was reported to the protection commissions, and I stopped, but not surprised: even in families with no history, the pressure of the online School, in addition to economic difficulties, there is a lack of home space, fatigue, it’s real dynamite, with the fuse already well lit. Fortunately, the little ones have already returned to today’s school. It is high time the others returned too – it cannot even be postponed.
In Birras de Mãe a grandmother / mother (and also a mother-in-law) and a mother / daughter write every day after four children separated by quarantine to talk about fears, irritations, perplexity, anger and misunderstandings, but also the feeling of complete community that – occasionally! – penetrates into them. Hoping that whoever reads them, mom or grandmother, will feel like they are talking about themselves. Facebook and Instagram.