We are so tired that we turn away from empathy. When this happens, everything rushes and tries to occupy the space that is obviously missing. It is the pain of those who work hard and the pain of those who don’t work. It is the loneliness of those who are at home without company and the revolt of those who are at home without being able to breathe or find space to be silent. It’s the constant struggle of my life to be worse than yours. In general, we are not talking about realities that require positions, but rather “ordinary” lives with obstacles in the present circumstances, rather than lives that must struggle for and forever. The realities that require positioning are part of other conversations, not this one.
There are people who, because they are not doing well, even if unconsciously, use up the energy of others when they talk about their problems. Those who cannot listen repeatedly will be selfish in the picture. We also have people who always strengthen those who are sick that it could be worse. The invalidation of individual reality. There will be those who will line up in this and several armies and set an agenda in the conflicts of the houses that do not belong to them: online houses.
We are so tired that we turn away from empathy. If this continues, try to occupy the space that is obviously missing.
The amount of free hate you read on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. speaks volumes about what we are as a society and community – we are not. We are teams. We have sides. We cannot make judgments that are born within us. Emotional intelligence is missing. It’s generalization, yes. The idea remains.
Talking about each person’s pain doesn’t scare me. Listening to each other’s pain doesn’t scare me. What scares me is the feeling that we increasingly only have two options: We are hateful and spit out death wishes just because yes (the reality which, if it weren’t virtual, could have very serious legal consequences and even have online can and should) or we are the people who embrace all the pain so much that we forget to breathe and find beautiful details in the most mundane, random things. We ignore our reality by breathing in the pain that is not ours.
The way we express empathy (or the lack of it) has an obvious connection to the situation, for example politically. Life is not just about extremes and neither is it stagnant. Our pain is valid, but it is also valid that there are people who want to protect themselves from collective pain in order to maintain their own sanity, and that doesn’t make anyone less empathetic. There are more options than wishing someone dead or stepping into a pit of sadness for the pain of others.
I feel like there is an urgent need to stop. It is quite strange that the need to stop exists when most people are “stopped”. When I speak of the need to stop, I am talking about stopping the onslaught that is inside the body. We have to start reflecting before we jump into hatred, start reflecting before accepting so much pain that we don’t even know what is ours and what isn’t. We must also learn that the decision not to surround ourselves with weight is not an act of selfishness, but an act of love – love for us, for our wellbeing – so that at another point in time we can fall apart without help.
We are so tired that we turn away from empathy. If this continues, try to occupy the space that is obviously missing. What is needed is to feel empathy – for those who work hard, who do not work, who have no company, who liked silence, for us, and for this reason inevitably cannot be or be for other people at this moment. Self-love is not selfish and only sees the navel, but neither is it a competition over how many fronts we can occupy and save until we drown.
This hate that you see and read is for those who do not live in love. He desperately needs an answer, yes, but it’s okay if we can’t answer everything. Our online homes, WhatsApps or physical homes also have an exit door and we are no less if we don’t want to welcome anyone who wants to set the nest on fire. Putting on other people’s shoes is an urgent exercise – taking off our shoes and straightening our legs too.