Handling Teens

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trash can they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action.

The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said, “You kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like that. In fact, I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor? I’ll give you each a dollar if you’ll promise to come around every day and do your thing.” The kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up job on the trash cans.
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Couldn’t spit it out

Damien walks into a bar one day and stammers, ‘Does anyone here own that South African ridgeback outside?’

‘Yeah, I do,’ a tattooed biker says, standing up.
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More March 2010 Funnies

Blessed Dogs

Liz took her litter of cocker spaniel puppies to the veterinary clinic for their inoculations and deworming.

As the look alike pups squirmed over and under one another in their box, the vet realized it would be difficult to tell the treated ones from the rest. The veterinarian turned on the tap over the sink, wet her fingers, and moistened each dog’s head when she had finished.
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Safe to swim here?

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,”Are there any gators around here?!”
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Top 10 signs you bought a bad computer

1. Lower corner of screen has the words “Etch-a-sketch” on it.
2. It’s celebrity spokesman is that “Hey Vern!” guy. Read more

Funnies March 2010

The four brothers

The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and Developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946, the Temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.

The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford’s Office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four Gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto Industry since the electric starter.
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How The Bailout Works A Farmer’s Point of View

Young Chuck in Montana bought a horse from a farmer for $100.
The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day.
The next day he drove up and said, Read more

Just what IS a 710?

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, ‘What is a seven-hundred-ten?’
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