Open Season: Enjoy this weather

By Melvin Larsen
I think that most people in the Pacific Northwest would agree with me when I say that this is our nicest time of the year. The weather has been fantastic for all of August and September should bring more of the same.
The fall Chinook are in the local tributaries, most notably the Cowlitz, and chrome bright Silver salmon are soon to begin showing. There continues to be a strong run of summer Steelhead as well and these hard fighting fish are in their best color right now. Harvest trout are out there, waiting for a lure, bait, or fly.
September also signals the start of archery season for both deer and elk. On recent scouting trips I have seen good populations of healthy Blacktail deer — none of which showed any signs of hair loss — so I am keeping my fingers crossed that this malady has run it’s course and is gone from our local deer populations.
This is also the time of year when yellow jackets are most active and aggressive. Dogs and people alike seem to be on the receiving end of the painful sting of yellow jackets. It seems that when these nasty little creatures sting you they leave a scent that attracts more yellow jackets which will gladly sting you again. I have found that if you remove the item of clothing where you have been stung and throw it down on the ground (by now you are already running) that the rest of the yellow jackets will be attracted to that item and leave you alone (but it is always a good idea to keep running, just in case!).
I realize that this is a pretty short column this month but I am going to get back out on the river. Be sure to send in some pics of you, your S/O, or your kids with fish and game to be published in upcoming editions of The Valley Bugler. Always have personal floatation devices on those you love when on or near water. Be careful, be courteous, and pick up any discarded fishing line that you might come across.
Melvin Larsen, also known as Mountain Mel, enjoys anything and everything to do with the great outdoors, and possesses a vast array of knowledge regarding all things hunting and fishing. Comments? Questions?
Contact us.

September Trophy Wall

Jordan Miller of Kelso, age 11, proudly displays his huge 30 pound Fall Chinook, caught on the Cowlitz River. Photograph by dad, Jeff Miller.  Send in your fishing and hunting “Trophy Wall” pictures to be displayed here!

Amani Center Luau & Auction

Get the Island experience right here in Columbia County.  Enjoy live Hawaiian music, Polynesian dancers, dinner catered by Hawaiian Island Cafe, Silent & Oral Auctions and a delicious Dessert Auction!  This event is for Adults 21 & over only please.  Visit our Tiki Bar for Hawaiian beverages and more.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
@ 4:30pm
Columbia County Fairgrounds
Tickets:  $40 each
Tables:  (includes 2 bottles of wine, chocolate covered macadamia nuts, preferred seating & more)
Friends of Amani Center (FACT) ~ seats 8, only $375
Corporate Table ~ seats 10, only $500  (also includes advertising for your company)
Event Sponsor ~ 2 tables, seats a total of 20, $2500 (includes exclusive advertising opportunities, contact us at the Amani Center for more information (503) 366-4005.
Purchase your tickets or table online today. The Columbia County Child Abuse Assessment Center (Amani Center) is a non-profit organization created to assist our community in responding to child abuse.
Our Mission
The Columbia County Child Abuse Assessment Center strives to minimize trauma to child abuse victims through professional medical diagnosis and treatment in a secure and child-friendly environment with the goal of preventing child abuse in all forms.
The primary goal of the Center is to ensure that children (birth to 18 years of age) suspected to be victims of sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, neglect, and/or domestic violence are provided with quality evaluative, and support services in a child-friendly setting.
www.amanicenter.com

A remarkable event

One day, a guy was on his way home from work when the most remarkable thing happened. Traffic was heavy as usual, and as he sat there at a red light, out of nowhere a bird slammed into his windshield. If that wasn’t strange enough, the poor creature got its wing stuck under the windshield wiper.
Just then the light turned green and there the guy was with a bird stuck on his windshield. Without any other apparent options, he turned on the windshield wipers to try to get rid of the bird. It actually worked. On the upswing, the bird flew off, and it slammed right onto the windshield of the car behind him. Unfortunately, the car behind him was a police car.
Immediately the lights went on and he was forced to pull over. The officer walked up and told him that he saw what had happened at the light. Trying to plead his case fell on deaf ears. The officer simply stated, ‘’I am going to have to write you up for flipping me the bird.’’

‘Cruise for the Cure’ – a car show that aims on saving lives.

Cancer.
It’s one of the most dreaded words a person can hear at any age in this life.
It was 1996 when Kim Walters found herself struggling with grief that followed both her parents’ deaths, within 15 months of each other, from cancer.
She cried out to God for help.
In answer to her prayers, the Lord breathed a vision for the New Hope Cancer Recovery Ministry into her heart. Out of her own brokenness came something beautiful and healing that has helped literally hundreds of people.
Today, Kim is the Director of New Hope Cancer Recovery.
If you, or someone you love has been diagnosed with cancer, there is hope.
Hope through medical advances in treatment, caring physicians and staff and through an emotional and spiritual support group.
Hope based in Faith.
Kim facilitates the New Hope support group, encourages people over the phone and meets with new people over coffee.
Frequently, she visits the hospital, the Hospice Care Center and Women’s Health Pavilion. Road trips to other cities are also made when needed.
In the New Hope support group, every member becomes her friend. She rejoices with and supports them in whatever medical reports they receive from their physicians.
Family members sometime struggle with how to realistically cope in the face of a cancer diagnosis in someone they love, and the support group helps address these hard questions.
It is Kim’s desire to “help family members and friends stay connected to their loved one during their illness.”
Because Kim stayed connected to her parents during their cancers, it taught her ways to make this journey less painful for relatives and friends. With the loving support of her husband, Jeff, she has the help to continue in her ministry.
To know Kim is to love her. She is a woman after God’s own heart and it shines through her and her actions of caring for others every day.
Kim acknowledges that the Lord has provided her with super-natural strength many times.
“He gives me the strength to stand up and talk at funerals after losing one of my precious members”, says Kim Walters, “God gives me everything I need in order to minister to others.”
She finds healing in sharing their stories and celebrating the lives of her dear friends because each one means so much to her.
There have also been many, “victory” stories of healing that Kim is happy to share with someone needing a “lift” of encouragement on their own journey.
We grow through crisis. The New Hope Cancer Recovery Ministry offers new and positive ways to think and respond in the midst of any crisis.
New Hope members learn to think beyond their circumstances by doing things together as a group such as:
~Participating in the Relay for Life to raise funds for cancer research.
~Annual Terry/Taylor Garage Sale in August using a variety of ways to raise money and cancer awareness.
~Hosting the annual “Cruise for the Cure” (since 2007), a classic car, truck and motorcycle show on the last Saturday in September on Commerce Avenue in downtown Longview.
For patients going through treatment, their families and friends, a New Hope support group can be a lifeline of strength and encouragement.
So, if you, or you know someone who is facing cancer, we would encourage you to contact Kim at (360)425-7978 or kimmerz21@msn.com
You will be blessed and she would be honered to assist you and your loved one on your journey.
The Cruise for the Cure can only be made possible by the many generous people involved, and of course, sponsors. It is only with them that the show is a great success, drawing hundreds of spectators each year.
And it’s no wonder – all of us are affected by cancer in some small way, shape or form.
New Hope Cancer Recovery’s proceeds from this years show will be used to purchase new hats, scarves, medications, gas cards for those who have to travel, etc. Hospice will benefit as well, including Doernbecher Children’s Hospital. There will be designated funds sent to Ronan’s Foundation. Ronan Thompson passed away shy of his 4th birthday. He was honored at last years show. This year the show will be in memory of him along with two ladies from New Hope who passed away recently, Becky Bingman and Lynn Heston.
Please see the Cruise for the Cure ad on page 2! Donations accepted.

ARTSY Events & Activities

Announcement:
1. The Longview Outdoor Gallery (LOG) will be installing bases and sculptures in downtown Longview at the beginning of September.  The 11 sculptures will be installed by September 10. The group is still fundraising, so if you wish to help, please contact Laurel Murphy or the Valley Bugler.

First Thursday Activities
Thurs, September 1

* Broadway Gallery
1418 Commerce, Longview
www.the-broadway-gallery.com
Showcasing Judy Vendermaten (photography), Ruth Doumit (stained glass and tile), Bob Farr (photography) and Mary Huels (pottery).
Reception 5:30-7:30pm
Music by Calvin. Door Prizes!!

* The Gift Cottage
1414 Commerce, Longview
Local artists.
Open until 7pm.

* Longview Public Library
Koth Gallery, 1600 Louisiana
www.longviewlibrary.org/
Dion Manriquez (paintings)
Show runs Sept 1-21.
Open until 8pm.
* Lord & McCord Art Works
1416 Commerce, Longview
www.lindamccord.com
Jordan Reed (photographs) Mr. Reed studied photography at Lower Columbia College and now resides in Israel.
Reception 5:30–7:30pm
Israeli desserts will be featured.

* Teague’s Interiors
1267 Commerce, Longview
www.teaguesinteriors.com
TBA
Reception 5:30-7pm.

* The Bistro
1329 Commerce, Longview
www.thebistrobuzz.com
Wine tasting. Live music. Door prizes. Reservations recommended. Hours: 5-8pm.

Opportunities
Call for Artists from the City of Moscow, Idaho Public Arts Initiative. They are looking for artists, architects and design teams living in Idaho, Washington, Oregon, Montana and Wyoming to prepare detailed site-specific proposals for the design, fabrication and installation of a permanent outdoor sculpture in a city park in September 2012. Budget: $35,000. Deadline: September 9, 2011. Contact the City of Moscow for RFP info.

The Lighter Side

The Shredder
A young executive is working late one evening. As he comes out of his office about 8 p.m., he sees the big boss standing by the shredder in the hallway, a piece of paper in his hand.
“Do you know how to work this thing?” the older man asks. “My secretary’s gone home and I don’t know how to run it.”
“Yes, sir,” says the young executive, who turns on the machine, takes the paper and feeds it in.
“OK!” says the boss, “I just need the one copy.”

The Burglar
The burglar broke into a house one night. Just as he was shining his flashlight around, he heard, “Jesus is watching you.”
Nearly jumping out of his skin, he waited a bit. But just as he was pulling the wires from the electronics, he again heard, “Jesus is watching you.”
His flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. “Did you say that?” he hissed.
“Yep,” the parrot confessed, then squawked, “Just trying to warn you that he is watching you.”
“Who do you think you are?” the burglar chided.
“Moses,” replied the parrot.
“Moses?” the burglar laughed. “What kind of people would name a bird Moses?”
“The same kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus!”

Aspirin
A young man walks into the drug store and asks the pharmacist, “Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?”
“Do you mean aspirin?” asks the pharmacist.
“That’s it! I can never remember that word!”

Hollywood
It’s a big party and all the stars are there: Demi, Ashton, Brad, etc. Mick Jagger decides to hit on Kate Moss, but she turns him down flat.
Yes, a Rolling Stone gathers no Moss!

Win $5,000 CASH in the Kelso Rotary Quacker 5000 Duck Race • Sept.11th

2:00 p.m. Sunday, Sept. 11, 2011
Duck Tickets: $5 each
It’s Duck Season! The Duck Race is Kelso Rotary’s primary fundraiser that supports their programs and service projects throughout the year. Supporters purchase numbered duck tickets for $5 each. Club members place tags on 9,000 yellow rubber ducks which will be dumped from the Allen Street Bridge into the Cowlitz River during the Kelso Highlander Festival at 2:00 p.m. on Sunday, September 11. Kelso Rotarians operating a variety of water craft will scoop and mark the ducks as they reach the finish line.
The first place prize is $5,000 cash and second place wins $2,000 cash. There will be many other prizes donated by Kelso Rotarians, individuals, and local businesses. Duck tickets can be purchased from any Kelso Rotarian. You will see Rotarians selling duck tickets at grocery stores, and community gatherings. The last opportunity to buy a duck ticket will be at the Highlander Festival at Tam O’Shanter Park on September 11, 2011.
For a list of some Rotarian members to buy tickets, you can also contact your local Kelso Rotary or The Valley Bugler Newspaper.
Kelso Rotary also meets Thursdays at 12:00pm (noon). Lunch available to purchase. Kelso Longview Elks Lodge  Call #414-5406
Kelso Rotary provides funds for human services projects in Cowlitz County, international projects, and long-range capital projects. The club places special emphasis on projects that support the well being and education of youth.
For a complete list of rules and regulations for the Kelso Rotary Quacker 5000 Duck Race, send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to “Quacker 5000,” Kelso Rotary Club, P. O. Box 333, Kelso, WA 98626.

Eagle’s Eye: Time and the Paranormal

I discovered something. The longer that a person lives, the quicker time seems to pass. I remember when I was a little kid, and my mother would tell me that I had an hour to play with my friends. An hour was such a long time. It appears now that hours take very little time to pass. My concept of time seems to be accelerating. Days as well as hours pass much more quickly than they did when I was young.
I do have some solutions. I will on occasion sit in the dentist’s chair, wait in long lines for events, or be in a hurry to get somewhere important. Time will either stop, or at least slow down for me. This sort of thing is good for a person my age; it helps me to feel that I have somehow extended my time on earth.
My wife seems to think that I have memory problems.
“Where’s the remote control?” I asked.
My wife replied, “It’s probably right where you left it.”
“No it’s not! I’ve looked everywhere and it isn’t anywhere.”
My wife walked into the living room, walked over to our television and reached for the remote control. It was sitting in plain sight on top of the TV.
I looked at my wife intensely. “Claudia, I never put it there. I think that we might have a ghost.”
She laughed.
She may have laughed at me, but I have noticed a number of mysterious events happening to both my wife and myself.
“Bill have you seen the book that I was reading?”
“What happened to my Scissors?”
“Where’s my checkbook?”
“My coffee cup’s gone?”
“My hat’s gone! Where is it? Did you put it somewhere?”
All these events seem to border on the supernatural. I firmly believe that we might have a poltergeist in our house.
My wife, on the other hand, seems to think that we are just careless. I think that this phenomenon is much more serious than she thinks it is. I have mentioned some of these occurrences to other people, including my friend Harry who seems to have also experienced some of these paranormal events. Think about it, have you had things disappear on you and then reappear in places where you have already looked? Instead of blaming yourselves, you need to report these phenomenal occurrences to reputable psychic investigators.
I live in St. Helens Oregon, about thirty miles from Longview Washington. We do much of our shopping in the Longview-Kelso area. We travel to “The big City” once or twice every month, whether we need to or not.
Claudia and I were driving along the river to Longview. We were busy conversing with each other. We passed through Columbia City, Deer Island, and shortly found ourselves coasting down the hill to Rainier. I turned to my wife and commented, “Funny, I don’t remember passing Goble?”
My wife looked blankly at me and said, “Neither do I…?”
I gripped my steering wheel as we headed across the Longview-Rainier Bridge. “Claudia do you think that Goble is still there or has it disappeared into some other strange dimension? I think that we may have entered a worm hole, we may have just experienced a stitch in time.”
My wife just laughed.
This is not the only time that something like this has happened to us. I recall Castle Rock disappearing a couple of times when we were on our way to Tacoma. Fortunately Castle Rock reappeared on our return trip. Come to think of it, so did Goble.
Our area is full of paranormal phenomena. You readers should be aware of this and be on guard lest you too find yourself transported to some other dimension.
Time is flexible; paranormal events do occur. Be on guard, we live in a world filled with things, most strange.
Bill Eagle and his beautiful wife, Claudia, live in St. Helens Oregon and enjoy a funny view on life most days. He loves comments!

Hit and Giggle: Credit Unions join forces to raise money for Doernbecher

This July saw the 12th annual Hit and Giggle Golf Tournament swing its way to victory for Doernbecher Children’s Hospital.
On July 16, golf enthusiasts of every skill level braved the rain clouds to put their short game to the test. Hosted at the Tri Mountain Golf Course in Ridgefield, the day proved to stay dry as 108 players drove, chipped and putted their way around the course. The tournament’s signature holes, “Three Sheets to the Wind” and “A Pirate’s Life for Me” encouraged participants to shrug off the seriousness sometimes associated with the sport, and dress up in eye patches, feathered hats, and beer goggles while teeing off.
“Giving to a good cause is part of the credit union movement and philosophy.” states Dave Spaulding, CEO of Red Canoe Credit Union. “We’re proud to team up to benefit the families of SW Washington, so they can receive affordable, quality health care. Without support like this, Doernbecher wouldn’t be able to offer service to so many families. Without Doernbecher, many of these families wouldn’t be able to get the care they need.”
This year, the tournament raised over $22,000 in support of Doernbecher, which helps treat nearly 2,000 ill children from Cowlitz County each year. Says Larry Hoff, President and CEO of Fibre Federal Credit Union, “We do a lot of work with Doernbecher throughout the year, to raise funds for such a worthy cause. We get the chance to go to Doernbecher a few times a year and meet some of the kids in treatment there. When you see those kids, it just makes you want to do all that you can.”
The tournament is organized by Red Canoe Credit Union’s Credit Unions for Kids Committee, and Fibre Federal Credit Union’s Community Service Committee.

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