The Lighter Side

The Shredder

A young executive is working late one evening. As he comes out of his office about 8 p.m., he sees the big boss standing by the shredder in the hallway, a piece of paper in his hand.

“Do you know how to work this thing?” the older man asks. “My secretary’s gone home and I don’t know how to run it.”

“Yes, sir,” says the young executive, who turns on the machine, takes the paper and feeds it in.

“OK!” says the boss, “I just need the one copy.”

The Burglar

The burglar broke into a house one night. Just as he was shining his flashlight around, he heard, “Jesus is watching you.”

Nearly jumping out of his skin, he waited a bit. But just as he was pulling the wires from the electronics, he again heard, “Jesus is watching you.”

His flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. “Did you say that?” he hissed.

“Yep,” the parrot confessed, then squawked, “Just trying to warn you that he is watching you.”

“Who do you think you are?” the burglar chided.

“Moses,” replied the parrot.

“Moses?” the burglar laughed. “What kind of people would name a bird Moses?”

“The same kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus!”