Valentine’s Day

February 14th is Valentine’s Day. On that day, I will often buy my wife flowers; other times I will purchase a card or a small gift. I rarely spend a lot of money, since it doesn’t take a lot of money to express an appropriate thought.

At one time I thought that Candy would be a good gift. I presented my wife with a beautifully wrapped box of chocolates. It was big; it was expensive, and it had all sorts of mouth-watering creams, nougats, and nuts. I liked the idea of giving her chocolates since I knew that my wife would feel obligated to share her candy with me.

My wife started to unwrap the box, and then I opened my mouth.

“Was it Dorothy Parker that wrote: Girls who eat lots of sweets, will soon develop larger seats?”

My wife gave me a dark look and replied: “I think it was Ogden Nash who wrote that rhyme. You know that I can’t eat chocolate. Chocolate gives me migraines.”

So ended, what I thought would be a romantic Valentine’s Day moment; this was the last time that I ever brought her candy.

“Hey Claudia” I snarked. “Did you know that Valentine’s Day is nothing but an ancient pagan holiday?”

“No it isn’t,” said my wife. “In AD 270, the Roman emperor Claudius II issued an edict forbidding marriage. The emperor thought that married men made poor soldiers. He based his decision on the belief that people don’t like to leave their families in order to go to battle. Valentine rebelled and secretly started conducting marriages.  He violated the Emperor’s edict and because of what he did, was arrested and martyred.”

“Pooh” said I.

“It’s true,” replied Claudia.

“Legend has it, that right before St. Valentine was executed, he restored the eyesight of his jailers’ blind daughter, and on the evening before he was to be executed wrote her a love note signed “From your Valentine.””

I snorted: “Blah! There was more than one Bishop Valentine, there were at least three, and February 14th was a pagan holiday, the feast of Lupercus, the Roman God of the wolves, and Romans would also honor the goddess Juno Februata. The names of young women were put into a box and then drawn by lot. Young people were matched this way and would be considered partners for the year. For some reason the church fathers didn’t approve of Lupercalia. Lupercalia was replaced with Valentines Day. Now, they would draw the names of saints. People that drew a saints name would then be expected to emulate that saint for an entire year.”

My wife grinned. “You mean do something that would get you flayed alive?”

I chuckled “You don’t have to be a saint for that to happen. I think people were expected to help travelers, give to the poor, et cetera.”

I continued. “The church eventually forgot about drawing Saints names, and people went back to their old pagan ways of sending love notes.

My wife snorted: “Sending love notes isn’t pagan, it’s nice.”

“If you say so,” I replied. “February 14th used to be dedicated to the marriage of the pagan gods Jupiter and Juno. No one knows much about Saint Valentine; but in 1969, the Catholic Church even removed the Feast Day of St. Valentine from their calendar of Saints.”

My wife shook her finger. “I like the idea of Valentine’s Day, and I think that love notes are nice.”

“According to *Leo Wierzbowski, as Christianity spread. So did the Valentine’s Day card.”

My wife asked: “Who is *Leo Wierzbowski?”

I put on a serious expression: “Some guy who works and maintains a web page at the University of Florida.”

“Oh.”

“One of the earliest Valentine cards was sent by Charles, duke of Orleans, in 1415, to his wife, while he was imprisoned in the tower of London. The card is now in the British Museum.

In the early 19th century printers started producing cards with verses and sketches on them. They were called ‘Mechanical Valentines.’ It became quite popular to use the mail to deliver these ‘mechanical’ messages of love. One might call this a ‘Hallmark moment in Western history.’”

My wife looked at me: “Are you going to send me a card?”

I looked into her blue eyes and said: “Wouldn’t you rather have chocolates?”

“Just remember,” threatened my wife; “A person gets what he gives, and what goes around comes around.”

You know, my wife is very wise.

Have a wonderful February, and be sure to send something to your sweetie on Valentines Day.

http://grove.ufl.edu/~leo/val.html

Bill Eagle loves letters, comment online @ valleybugler.com