The Lighter Side – January 2010

At Sunday church

The minister asked if anyone would like to give praise for answered prayers. A woman stepped up to the podium.

She said her husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle crash that crushed his scrotum. The pain was terrible. Men in the congregation gasped in empathy.

“He couldn’t hold me or the children and was in pain at every moment. The doctors did a delicate five-hour operation and pieced together the remains of Tom’s scrotum and wrapped wire around it.”

The men shuddered as they imagined the horrible surgery.

“Now, thanks to the lord, his scrotum is healed,” she said. The men sighed with relief as she went back to her seat.

Then, a man slowly made his way to the podium. All he said was this, “Hi, I’m Tom. I just wanted to tell my wife that the word is sternum.”

The good news

A husband came home from work and was greeted by his newlywed wife. She said, “I have great news for you. Pretty soon we’ve going to be three in this house instead of just two.”

Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes. He was glowing with happiness and kissed his wife.

She was happy and smiling too when she said, “I’m so glad you feel this way. My mother moves in with us tomorrow!”

Gotcha

When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight.

I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom and said, “I’m surprised at you. Don’t you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?”

Her mom smiled and said, “Oh, yes, I remember !”