Life. A Burden or a Privilege?

It’s all about attitude. Two people can face the same situation. To one, it seems frightening and burdensome. To the other, a welcome challenge and opportunity.

A young couple divorced after just ten years of marriage. They had several young children and both had done the best they could to take care of themselves, each other, and their kids through the ups and downs they’d faced. The husband admitted he’d never been happy in the marriage: too many troubles and not enough fun in his estimation.

The wife, though, had never been unhappy in the marriage. She’d looked at the same trials as opportunities to stretch, grow, learn and change. She was surprised and saddened by her husband’s decision to give up so soon on their marriage.

Years passed, and the young man married twice more. At some point in his third marriage he discovered that he merely needed to decide to be happy and grateful in order to experience real happiness. It was an expensive lesson.

The young woman also remarried and continued to be happy in her second marriage, even though she and her second husband faced even more daunting trials than she and her first husband had ever faced. But her outlook was that life is temporary, God is real and would help her through anything she’d ever have to face, and that every trial has a purpose and the purpose is a good one. With that attitude, she saw ongoing trials the way an athlete sees the next game: as something to be enjoyed and conquered, and as something to learn from and to share with others.

Victory or defeat is inevitable, but it doesn’t need to determine our attitude. If we give life our all and learn the lessons we need to learn, we win our own personal victories despite the outcome of each chapter of our lives. Personal integrity is a worthy goal. To maintain kindness as a way of life while striving for excellence is a great  way to live out our days, knowing we’re accountable to God for what we do with this gift He’s given us called LIFE.

When life throws us a curve ball, a friend betrays us, a co-worker gossips about us, someone hurts us without remorse, we always have a choice. We can let their actions stop us in our tracks and lay around indefinitely “licking our wounds” or we can let them motivate us to rise up and go forward with even more determination to do all the good we can while we can. That’s what I’ve learned. And that’s what I do.

You see, I was the young wife in that story. And now, at sixty, having survived a loveless first marriage and then marrying a second man who became permanently disabled as a result of a car accident, I am stronger for those experiences, and better able to understand the pain of others.

What I’ve learned most is something I saw summed up beautifully on a bookmark in Melodee’s Mishmash gift shop in Castle Rock recently: “The three most important things in life are: To be kind, to be kind, and to be kind.” There you have it kids! Go forward, ESPECIALLY when someone is opposing you – if you believe you’re on the right track and doing what you’re supposed to be doing. Do good. Be kind. Don’t quit.

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(Paddy welcomes reader comments and can be reached evenings at 360-274-5231.)