‘The Gift of Leo’
May 1, 2009 by Valley Bugler
By Kelly Hjelmeland
I was three months pregnant when we found out that our son, Leo would be born with Down Syndrome. It was a very hard time. Now I look at my beautiful, aware, intelligent, active and funny almost three-year-old son and wonder, why I was ever upset about it. He is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me – bar none! I was home by myself when the final call came telling us it was definite and I just sat and cried.
All I knew about children with Down Syndrome (or Trisome 21) was that they would probably have lots of health problems and be retarded (not necessarily true, by the way.) All they tell you is the stuff that scares you to death. No one told me that he could and would be a normal child. No one told me that he would be the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. No one told me he would do all the things a “normal” baby does, some of it just at a slower pace. (Which is wonderful because you have time to adjust and enjoy each phase of his growing up.) No one told me how determined and independent he would be. No one told me how fun he would be and how much joy he would bring to everyone who meets him.
No one told me how aware of the world around him he would be and how much more aware he would make me.
He really takes his time to understand things and contemplate. He is extremely independent and happy. He loves books, music and being outside. He is not even three but already he helps in the garden, clean the kitchen floor and mix up bread dough.
He actually gets upset if you don’t let him help unload the dishwasher or fold the laundry. 
Yes, there have been some difficulties.
He needed open heart surgery earlier this year, and is a little behind in the walking and talking departments. However, he has tremendous fine motor skills and a great sense of rhythm and music. He has a great attention span and will sit attentively for a whole hour, reading a book with you. I often find him reading by himself, well looking at a book talking to himself, pointing at the pictures and turning the pages.
He really picks up on other people’s emotions and is the best hugger I have ever known. He hugs with his whole heart, smiles with his whole body and loves to give kisses. He doesn’t have many clear verbal words yet but he knows over a hundred signs in sign language.
And his favorite word is “yes.”
Most of the time I forget he has an extra chromosome and just think of him as Leo. That is who he is. He is smart, funny and loveable. He is a real person with his own thoughts and feelings. He is an incredible joy to be around and everyone who meets him loves him. He isn’t even three and already he has changed many people’s lives. He makes you realize what is important and what is not. Perhaps all children do this – I don’t know – he is the only one I have. But it sure seems that he is a special guy and I mean that in the absolute best sense of the word. I am honored to be his mommy.
Photo is Leo reveling in the spring grass at one year old! Photo by Kelly Hjelmeland
Leo sounds like he’s doing great. Our son Joseph is six now and we knew that he had DS before he was born as well. He didn’t start speaking until four or walking until 18 months. Speech is still a challenge but if you want to get from point a to point b you have to learn how to work your way around the obstacles in your way. Some days are easier than others.
The way that I put it is: “Sometimes the days that you think are the worst in your life actually turn out to be the best”.
Here are links to three seperate videos of Joseph (website coming soon):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQkrGLbQchs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4XWq6tR537o
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DoxPsXRmUqw
So glad Leo is doing well and I can fully understand how you now wonder what you were so worried about. It’s just a pity that so many people who get a prenatal diagnosis are given so much negative information that they opt for termination. Perhaps if more were given the opportunity to talk to people like yourself there would be less making decisions that they later regret.
Thanks for the nice comments. This was my first article and it is really cool to get such positive feedback.
Steve, I loved your Youtube videos. Thanks for sharing. Joe is an inspiration. We’d love to meet you guys sometime. Maybe we can get emails exchanged through our lovely editor, my friend Michelle.
Penny, I couldn’t agree with you more on the “termination” issue. I could have written a whole article on how the testing place pushed it on us using just that term, every single time they talked to us. No wonder %80 of people who find out they are having a child with Trisomy 21 abort their baby. They really don’t know what they are doing and it really gets me going. Fortunately our OB was awesome and we were strong enough in our convictions. But anyway, I was asked to do an upbeat article so I left all that stuff out of the article. My hope is that by sharing the positive others will see the hope and the joy. It looks like that is what Steve is doing with his videos of Joe on Youtube.
Anyway thank again for the nice comments.
Kelly
Thank you Kelly for posting about my friend Leo. I have been blessed this past 6 months with having Leo come to my house to play with me and my daughter, Macy. Macy was born the day before Leo, so they share many of the same interests, and stages of development. Before having Leo come to our house, I was a teacher for 10 years, and when Macy was 13 months old, and my son Lucas was 6, I decided to stay home. Gratefully we were able to create a friendship with Kelly and Leo, who only live across the street. I would, and still do, watch Leo across the street from my kitchen window as he works in their garden, and bask in awe of how well he is doing!! It’s such a blessing, because I was also able to see Leo’s parents learn of his Down’s and be able to pray for them on many occasions. We prayed for Leo during his surgery and the months after, during his recovery from the surgery. We believe that things happen for a reason, and having Leo come into my care, has been a blessing. Leo has helped me to slow down with my own children, and smell the roses, persay. Leo has taught me how important my job as a stay at home mom is, and that just raising our kids, helping those in need and reaching out to help, teach and nurture all children with many spectrums of challenges, is more rewarding than anything I’ve experienced. Watching Leo learn the sign language we are teaching him is great! I cried the night when Kelly told me Leo signed ‘cold’ to his mom and dad when they were playing outside, and he began to get chilly. What a blessing! That I have been able to help Leo communicate with sign to his family and friends! Leo is confident, capable, funny, expressive, sensitive, intuitive and smart, and most of all he tries his best! I believe Leo has the best mom and dad! They never give up, they are patient, resourceful, humble, loving and kind. They truly don’t limit Leo nor do they expect those who care for him to limit him either. I hope that anyone who is blessed with a child with Down’s will look to Leo and his family for inspiration. As an educator I fully believe that Leo is doing as well as he is because of the commitment of his parents and family. They immediately looked into proper diet, early intervention and support groups. Don’t ever underestimate what you are capable of as parents, there are so many people out there with questions to your answers. Live to love, it will prosper a full life for all our children. Thank you for this opportunity to share, Stephanie.
Kelly, leave me a message at the blog listed above and include your e-mail. I’m sure that you and my wife would get along just great.
Sorry, I mean click on my name and it will go to the blog. There’s a couple of more older videos there as well.