That’s the Rule – February 2009

Jim Helton has a new column this year! He will switch hit between “That’s the Rule” and “Did You Know?”. Comments about his new column? Leave them online @ valleybugler.com or eMail editor@valleybugler.com
Ehrman’s Commentary:
(1) Things will get worse before they get better.
(2) Who said things will get better?
Howe’s Law:
Everyone has a scheme that will not work.
Simon’s Law:
Everything put irplane Law:  When the plane you’re on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.
Law of Probable Dispersal:
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
Wethern’s Law of Suspended Judgement:
Assummption is the mother of screw-ups.
Green’s Law of Debate:
Anything is possible if you don’t  know what you’re talking about.
Hanlon’s Razor:
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
In my readings, I came across these little tidbits from Phylis Diller:
Your husband is immature if:
1. he asks for a balloon when he buys a pair of shoes.
2. he  doesn’t mind you smoking as long as you let HIM  blow out the matches.
3.  at quitting time he asks the boss to help him put on his boots.
4.  When you go to bed at night, the books he brings with him are to color.
5. the reason he behaves at the office Christmas party is because he believes Santa is watching him.
6.  when you’re gone for a week, he greets you with “ what did you bring me?”
Your husband is a tightwad if:
1. your car insurance policy is $10,000 deductible.
2.  instead of taking you on vacations, he hangs 50 state pennants  in the living room.
3.  instead of getting tickets when you go out, you’re always going to places where you get your hand stamped.
4.  when you turn the heat  up over 60, he accuses you of arson.
5. when you ask him for spending money he replies, “ i gave at the office.”