Chip’s Chat – February 2009

Have you ever bought a bag of dog food that says “new & improved flavor?  Who do you suppose eats it to decide if it’s really an improved flavor?
The Grand Design
God created dog, and said “Sit all day by the door of your house, and bark at anyone who comes in or passes by.  For this I’ll give you a life span of 25 years.”
After a moment’s pause, the dog replied, “That’s a lot of barking.  How about only 15 years, and I’ll give you back the other ten.”
God agreed.
Next God created the monkey, and said, “Entertain people with silly tricks.  Make them laugh.  For this I’ll give you a life span of 35 years.
The monkey scratched the top of his head, and replied, “How about 25 years?  I don’t know if I can be silly for that long.  You can keep the other 10 years.”
God agreed.
Now God created the cow, and said, “You must go into the field with the farmer whether it’s hot or cold, rain or shine.  You must have calves and provide milk to support mankind.  For this I grant you a life span of 60 years.”
“Wait a mooment,” said the cow.  “That sounds hard.  Can be we cut that to 20 years, and you can keep the other 40?”
God agreed.
Finally God turned to man, and said, “Eat, sleep, play, and enjoy life.  For this I’ll give you a life span of 20 years.”
But man whined, “A measly 20 years?  How about this?  The dog gave back 10, the monkey gave back 10, and the cow gave back 40.  Why not give those to me so that I have 80 years total?”
Well, God had been very agreeable up until now, but man was always asking for more, more, more.  So God added a twist.
For the first 20 years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves.  For the next 40 years we work—hot or cold, rain or shine—to support ourselves and those around us.  For the next 10 years we do silly tricks to entertain the grandchildren.  And for our final 10 years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
* The only thing 2 dog trainers can agree on is that the 3rd one is doing it wrong.
* A client complained to his dog trainer that every time a bell rings his dog goes into the corner.  The trainer replied, “Of course he does.  He’s a boxer.”