The Lighter Side

At The Store…

A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the little girl asked for cookies and her mother told her, “No.” The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, “Now Monica, we just have half of the aisles left to go through – don’t be upset. It won’t be long now.”

Soon, they came to the candy aisle and the little girl began to shout for candy. When told she couldn’t have any, she began to cry. The mother said, “There, there, Monica, don’t cry – only two more aisles to go and then we’ll be checking out.”

When they got to the checkout stand, the little girl immediately began to clamor for gum and burst into a terrible tantrum upon discovering there’d be no gum purchased. The mother said serenely, “Monica, we’ll be through this check out stand in 5 minutes and then you can go home and have a nice nap.”

The man followed them out to the parking lot and stopped the woman to compliment her. “I couldn’t help noticing how patient you were with little Monica,” he began. The mother replied, “I’m Monica – my little girl’s name is Tammy.”

Things toddlers eat….

Panicking when his toddler swallowed a small magnet, George, rushed him to the emergency room.

“He’ll be fine,” the doctor promised. “The magnet should pass through his system in a day or two.”

“How will I be sure?” he pressed.

“Well, the doctor suggested, “you could stick him on the refrigerator. When he falls off, you’ll know.”

Flat tire

Two students had a few beers instead of studying on the night before an exam. In the morning, they discovered they had slept through it.

They told the professor they had a flat tire. He said they could take the test at 5 p.m. They were delighted and called classmates to find out the questions and answers.

The professor gave them the test in separate rooms. A second page was attached. It said: For 50 percent of your grade, which tire was flat?