Chip’s Chat – May 2008

The Dog’s Version of the Book of Genesis

On the 1st day, God created the dog.

On the 2nd day, God created humans to serve the dog.

On the 3rd day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the dog.

On the 4th day, God created the tennis ball so that the dog could retrieve it or choose not to retrieve it.

On the 5th day, God created vets to keep the dog healthy, and the humans broke.

On the 6th day, God created treats, lots of treats in lots of smelly flavors.

On the 7th day, God tried to rest, but had to walk the dog.

Epilogue – Sometime along the way, Satan created leashes & fences to contain the dog.  There will be retribution.

It’s a Dog’s World

The vaccination records for all of your dogs are in perfect order, but you haven’t balanced the checkbook for three months.

Nobody else is wandering around in this rainstorm, but your dog needs his walk.

You avoid vacuuming the house for as long as possible, because your dog is afraid of the vacuum cleaner.

You know all of the names of the dogs that regularly walk down your street, but not the people who are walking them.

Only organic holistic food will do for your dogs, but you live on McDonalds, Taco Bell, and macaroni & cheese.

When you order an ice cream cone you make sure it’s a flavor that your dog likes.

That isn’t lint in your pocket.  It’s crumbs from dog biscuits.

You have a plastic kiddie wading pool in your back yard, but have no kids.

All of your windows have nose prints on them.  You’ve given up washing windows.

You keep eating even after finding dog hair in your pasta.

The last sleep-over at your home was for the neighbor’s dog.

You’re cold so you put a sweater on your dog.

The receptionist at the vet’s office recognizes your voice on the phone.

It’s easier to get an appointment to get your hair cut than to get your dog groomed.

Whenever you go on vacation, you have to pet every dog you see, because you miss your own so much.

Whenever you have a bad day, you seek the comfort of hanging out with your dogs.